fabian prewett has no hyphen, only a new wife.

( Last Will And Testament of Fabian Magnus Prewett )

WARDED TO ORDER, MINUS GIDEON:

I know it's not mine, but if everyone could stay away from the safe house for an hour or two tonight? I'd owe you a giant favour forever. Gideon's coming over to talk and I want to actually... talk. Sadly, this ring decrees I can't pay up in sexual favours, but we'll think of something.

WARDED TO GIDEON:

I might have been a little counter-productive the other day.

WARDED TO LUPIN:

I'm not sure what all happened to that with Crockford being sent to Azkaban, but was wondering if you still have any connections to her shop?

WARDED TO MCKINNONS:

As much as I'd like to talk to my new extended family about something as nice as how we should all join together for dinner, that is not what this is about. (However will state that someone should tell my new father-in-law that ever since he cornered me about seven years ago while I had come by to see Marlie, I always make sure to check the back of maps!) It's been a week and people from all sides of the equation have shown their distaste with what happened, even between the lot of us, but I'm just talking some sort of mature route here and asking if everyone is doing fine?

WARDED TO GIDEON:

Please respond to this. Or not even respond and expect to carry on some conversation, just-- I haven't heard from you in forever. I don't even know if you are still alive, Gid. If we could just talk things through, I'm sure that

You know what? The only part of this you probably need to take heed of is the first sentence. Yeah. I miss you.

WARDED TO ORDER:

Now that The Mystery of the Failed Wards has been solved... Any new developments with these weird attacks and people doing things that are apparently completely out of the ordinary for them? Otherwise known as: has the world really gone completely bonkers or not?

Also if Vance says I'm a ginger, don't listen to her - the pain potions have turned her into a pathological liar.

WARDED TO MARLENE:

Quick question: did your grandfather live in a soot cellar? Or traipse about in them? Or do things that involve soot cellars? The ring slightly smells like arse.

I don't understand the concept of putting tonnes of spicy things into food to the point that what you're eating tastes like lava.

WARDED TO MARLENE MCKINNON-PREWETT!!!:

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

WARDED TO THE ORDER:

I might have messed up. I don't know. Gid and I are at Mungo's. Or he is. He started choking at the safe house and I don't know, I had to do something and so brought him here. I didn't think, just acted, and ended up giving his real name to intake and I don't think this is a good thing, but am not sure of much right now.

I'm no Healer, but it looked like he was having an allergic reaction even though I don't know why he'd have one, since he's so obsessive about making sure he doesn't eat peanuts. They're giving him a potion now but want to keep an eye on him for a bit and I'm not sure what to do. Should we leave? Would that be bad? Charlotte could always make sure there's no lasting effects or anything else, right? Someone else please tell me what to do. I don't like the thought of someone potentially finding out he and I are here.

WARDED TO MOLLY & ARTHUR:

Gideon had to go to Mungo's. Accute allergic reaction, it seems. He'd going to be fine, but I wanted you to know what happened. And hope that his Healer isn't a Death Eater and we actually get a chance to talk to you again.

I hate surprises.

WARDED TO LILY:

And I thought Magnus was bad.

No offense meant, because those are three fine names on their own, but wow, a bit much when you toss it all together like that. You wondered why I thought just going with Red was a bad idea...

WARDED TO THE ORDER:

In case you don't make it part of your daily routine to stop by the safehouse and make sure things are fine there, Gid and I are back from Egypt. Since we noticed that we've apparently been outed as Death Eaters, we've tried to go back and catch up on everything we missed out on. There could probably be some sorry here about how we should have stayed in contact in general, but that's not exactly my style so we'll leave it at that. Read what happened about those people wearing our shirts and don't even want to get into some moral or ethical discussion on that right now, but have we missed anything else all that big besides that and Potter continuing to pull one over on Red?

Oh, and Lupin? Come stop by the safehouse and I'll give you reason to think I'm a Death Eater.

WARDED TO MOLLY AND ARTHUR:

We're back. And in an attempt to make you hopefully overlook how we weren't really in touch, Molly We brought back stuff for you and the boys, so on top of everything else that we probably need to talk about, perhaps we could lead into that by stopping over and bringing it all? Unless you're going to start hexing us again, because that

WARDED TO MARLENE:

Sooo. Uhm. I know that probably wasn't the best way

WARDED TO PODMORE:

Every tried seesha? Disgusting stuff. I brought you some back. And also look like a farmer, now - a bright red, freckled and pasty white farmer.

WARDED TO ORDER:

So I know this is rather abrupt and maybe a bit more random than you'd expect from either of us, but Gid and I are cashing in on the holiday time we've got left and taking a... I'm going to use the word sabbatical, here. We're at the flat in Mold right now picking up a few things and making sure the wards aren't tampered with - they aren't - but then plan is to head off to Egypt for some unspecified amount of time.

We know things are going on that need attention, but I cannot stay this might be our last chance to desperate times call for desperate measures. Or something like that. We do have a favour to ask, though - if someone could keep in touch with Molly and Arthur and go over there to check in on them while we're gone? Frank? Alice? Marlie? If you need us, we'll be available more than likely, but uhm, I'm going to go pack now.

WARDED TO MOLLY, ARTHUR & GIDEON:

Before I even start into this, this is me acknowledging that the timing is terrible especially since this morning was the but... at this point timing isn't really on our side. And instead of dancing around the subject for however long, I'm just going to toss out there that Gideon and I are finally taking a trip to Egypt. Think of it as our birthday present to ourselves? Should you need to be in touch with us, we're reachable; so feel free. Oh, I haven't heard back from any of them explicitly yet, but if one of the Longbottoms or Marlene shows up while we're gone it's because we asked them to do so and make sure everything is okay.

Short notice, I know and I'm sorry for that, but is there anything either of you need before we head off?

WARDED TO MARLENE:

Sorry to drop that on you. Today is just full of surprises, yeah? Managed not to lose it at my parent's funeral, now have a new lunchbox... and am going to Egypt. This wasn't planned, but after the funerals this morning I feel more restless than I ever have in my life and need to leave here for a bit because who knows if this will be the Have you considered the fact that there might be a trend beginning in people surrounding me? I love you. We should talk when Gid and I come back.

The dragon figurine'll be coming with, by the by.

HASTILY WARDED PRIVATE:

Three children, Gideon and Fabian Prewett and Molly Weasley, you fucking wankers.

WARDED TO THE ORDER:

Someone needs to come to the safehouse.

Someone from the DMLE also needs to report some

I don't know-- anonymous tip if one hasn't already been made for a disturbance in Wiltshire.

Gid and I were having dinner with our parents and three of those wankers show up and--

Someone please come over here and make sure my brother's head isn't going to explode.

And soon because I need to go talk to my sister.

WARDED TO MOLLY & ARTHUR:
WARDED TO MOLLY:
WARDED TO MOLLY:

I'm so sorry. I

Sure, fine, you want to make sure your employee base isn't compromised of Death Eaters, Stalk. Which makes sense-- No, no, really it does and I'm guessing it's the entire reason you did those interviews last month. It is probably also the reason you're piggybacking on those in having us all fill out these little questionnaires today, just to further make sure you've got everything covered. And I didn't mind that part all that much seeing as I got to waste a good twenty minutes on it - good luck reading my handwriting. At the same time, was it necessary to have said forms fixed with wonky - yes, wonky - charms that see to turn into paper aeroplanes the second you lift your quill from them? Even if you're not done writing?

Am I the only one who spent a good chunk of time today fighting with a piece of paper, or was I just lucky enough to get a defective one hellbent on my slow, painful and embarrassing exsanguination? My hands are so cut up that I think dittany might be required to fix this; I somehow even got a cut on my cheek from that demon thing. Why, Fabian, why not just use an episkey or two? Because I can't even grasp my wand properly, that's why! At this rate, I should probably head off to Mungo's to make sure my hands don't fall victim to necrosis.

The Minister's Office should be expecting my bill soon.

( ORDER OF THE PHEONIX )

WARDED TO MOLLY:

I'm sorry. We I Please can I was checking my calendar earlier and realised it's been quite some time since I've volunteered to help clean out your garden. What with spring being here, it will probably need to be de-gnomed and that, yeah?

WARDED TO GIDEON:

I'm either going mental and am irrationally paranoid or do you think I could catch a cold before tomorrow night. Discuss.

WARDED TO MARLENE:

If you potentially and plausibly completely ruined one of your brothers lives, what would you do to fix that?

Fixed the sink. Am now convinced I'm an omnipotent being. Will accept monetary donations and/or sexual favours to play into this delusion of grandeur I've built for myself.

WARDED TO GIDEON:

I AM IN HATE WITH THIS PLACE. Yes, "in hate". It's like being in love, but on the complete opposite end of that spectrum seeing as it deals with hate.

There is not a silencing charm in the world that can block out the sound of the bathroom sink leaking while I'm trying to sleep, I swear to Merlin.

Next step: blasting curse.

WARDED TO ORDER:

I'm sure Alice, Moody or Frank will be able to give everyone a more in-depth rundown of this sooner or later, but Scrimgeour's just sent out a ward with a call for Obliviators. Dark Mark spotted in Gloucester with at least fifteen bodies and Muggle police and random-folk who came about the scene. Fucking Death Eaters. But yeah, heads up, gang.

Diggle. Podmore. I owe you an apology or... something, but bollocks if you're getting it right now. Turn that into a joke and I will Though, someone should bring me something with tonnes of caffeine in the morning.

WARDED TO PROUDFOOT:

In our determined avoidance of each other at their flat I didn't miss some bit about you no longer being on desk duty, yeah? Otherwise known as, I'm only assuming if Scrimgeour warded Obliviators he did the same with you all and are you still over there?

WARDED TO GIDEON:

Since we'll be heading out soon are we just spending one last night above Florean's? Tell everyone we've moved tomorrow and all instead of opening that can of worms tonight, now that we've got everything set up? Or well, not everything, but. Yeah.

This is the last time this should ever come up in conversation: I, Fabian Magnus Prewett, am not a ginger.

WARDED TO PODMORE:

tell me some stupid tale, because a lightening of moods would be i noticed a distinct lack of flowers at my bedside when i woke. i'm disappointed. i love you. is that the pain potions talking or just me? we may never know...

WARDED TO THE ORDER:

anything else gid hasn't caught me up on? well, i surely hope you all have missed my handsome face as much as i've missed yours. don't worry, moody, i'm making a clause here to say your face is simply gorgeous. have you done something new with your hair?

WARDED TO LILY:

Clover ice cream. Sweet Merlin. It sounds disgusting, but! It's a new flavour at Fortescue's. Somehow it's slipped my mind that it exists - I'm blaming Gideon for not alerting me to it earlier - but that's going to be fixed tomorrow. And you're joining me, not only because Gid said he's already tried it and I'm slightly resentful of that, yet also you are owed ice cream.

I will buy you rank ice cream tomorrow. This is your destiny. It's dangerous to go alone, so take some clover ice cream with you. And I'll be there too, so-- My lunch break is at one. Are you free?